A Year of Biblical Womanhood
By Rachel Held Evans (308 pages)
Published by Thomas Nelson
Bookish rating: 4
I actually finished this book last year and it is the final, lingering book review I need to complete before posting my 2013 book list (oh, shush, so the list is 10 months late). See, I wanted to write a really stellar, witty, enlightening review of this gem of a book, but that was going to require thought and careful writing. And, like, time.
So, here we are, 10 months (actually more) later. Ack. Procrastination: never a good idea.
So, in
A Year of Biblical Womanhood, Evans takes on the idea of "biblical womanhood" all we conservatively raised girls had shoved down our throats and literally enacts its biblical edicts for a year. So, she dwells in a tent in the yard during her monthly visit from Aunt Flo, refers to her husband as master, becomes uber domestic, and so on.
Evans is a good writer and witty, which makes her criticism of how we've effed up what a Good Woman is a freaking delight to read. She's not mean-spirited at all--she genuinely tries to reconcile how we've constructed (yes, CONSTRUCTED) our modern notion of "biblical womanhood" with a serious faith. What do you do when you don't fit the mold of such a woman? What happens when the church tells you to check all your talents and idiosyncrasies at the door, because you lack a particular male organ?
Why, it's a recipe for deciding to major in women's studies at a super liberal college, that's what it is.
Now, like Evans, I was raised in a church where a girl's greatest virtue was her virginity, her highest callings = wife and mother (not that there's anything wrong in CHOOSING this). She should exhibit sweetness of temper and love of the domestic arts, recognize the husband as the head and the wife's role as "complementary," absolutely not lead in the church (note: speaking at women's events is okay), and so on. I exaggerate a bit--because goodness knows there were some feisty, funny, eye-rolling, deeply faithful women in said church. They sort of worked around the inconveniences of sheer sexism, and greatly benefited the girls in the congregation, bless their hearts
But I remember a youth retreat where girls were instructed to learn from their mothers how to cook and clean, so as to be ready to make good a wife to a good little christian boy (who we better not sleep with until we married).
It's one thing to have this BS forced on you at a mandatory "retreat" (we had to go---I hated them. To this day, I refuse to sit in room with a power point-led praise songs and a "praise band"--to each their own, if this is how you roll, but I do NOT go backward in time to those days. Seriously. Emotionally, I just can't do it. At my parents' church, if I happen to be there, I pretend Charlotte has to pee and I leave until the music is done. I'm sure many people feel the same way about traditional hymns. It's probably a reason why contemporary vs. traditional music is one of the most divisive topics in churches).
So, it's one thing to be told you're a "stumbling block" for boys because you have boobies, or your life's calling is to be--because you are female--an obedient, hardworking, sweet-tempered wife and mother--and that's it. It's another thing when you're a girl living at home, seeing the flaws of patriarchal crap play out in front of you in day-to-day life. And then on Sunday, you're told again that this is as good as humankind is gonna get. It's preordained. God-sanctioned. Sweeten up, girl. Accept it. Try harder. QUIT QUESTIONING IT!
Ugh. There's a reason I stalled so long in doing this post. Hello, demons from the past. Welcome to my present.
Anyhoo, the book. I loved how Evans handled the housekeeping chapter, showing how fabulously wonderful homemaking can be. I love homemaking. I really do. I love aprons, baking, decorating, scented candles, throw pillows, creating the right ambiance,and having a clean and tidy home. I get very proud when I sense my home is a haven for my family (and dog), nestled on the earth, cozy and well-ordered. Evans develops a new appreciation for the art of homemaking, but she warns against suggesting this is IT. Or if you don't love it, something is wrong with you. And that's a relief, because I don't sew, I forgot how to crochet, I can knit a total of two stitches, and I pay people to clean (like, really clean) my house. Why? Because I have other things I'd rather do! Evans argues that not every woman can--or should--fit the domestic goddess role, just because she's female. AND THAT'S OKAY.
Evans rushed through the motherhood chapter a bit, using a robotic baby to simulate the hassle of children. I didn't think it got anywhere close to the heart of the stress these creatures generate, from the overwhelming responsibility for their little lives and futures, the physical demands (postpartum everything, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation), or the expense they require. However, I found it HILARIOUS that a woman commented on Evans blog that she was disappointed Evans bottle-fed--instead of breastfed--her ROBOTIC BABY.
Evans is very critical of the idea of the perpetually self-sacrificing Good Woman. She questions the girls at her (christian, I think) college, who prayed to be able to become the quintessential Proverbs 31 woman. Frankly, I had always read that chapter to reflect the different facets a woman contains, but I am very aware of it being used to describe an impossibly high bar of endless (quiet) toil in servitude to one's family so that some day, if she married a good head of the household and birthed and properly raised her children, they'd give her a thumbs-up and call her "blessed" and valuable. You know, um, validating her. Funny that they prayed for this. Me? I prayed to avoid it.
Obviously, Evans's somewhat snarky but ultimately VERY sincere critique of the idea of biblical womanhood resonated with me. I absolutely recommend this book. For reals. Read it. READ IT!
