Any Day a Beautiful Change

Any Day a Beautiful Change: A Story of Faith and Family
By Katherine Willis Pershey
Published by Chalice Press (118 pages)
Bookish rating: 4

I'm not sure if there's really a genre of "mommy memoir," but there seems to be, and I seem to like it.

I stumbled across this book while checking out the small publisher, Chalice Press, that had published Sabbath in the Suburbs--a book I've (ironically) not yet had time to read but that Chris was using to lead adult Sunday school. It turned out that Chalice Press was running a Mother's Day sale on Kindle versions of its mommy-ish titles, so I bought a couple.

Small presses are important, friends.

Pershey's memoir of life as a young mother-plus-pastor delivered far better than I expected. Extremely well-written and very honest, she brilliantly tackles head-on the very bodily nature of pregnancy, childbirth, recovery from said childbirth, and breastfeeding. She contrasts that with the more intellectual necessity of pondering theology and writing sermons. Then Pershey marries the two--physical and metaphysical--in a way that probably only a female pastor could.

Much of the book resonated with me, particularly when she wrote of her daughter. On the birth of her little one, she writes, "I'm not just called to be a mother. I'm called to be her mother." I was on a plane when I read that, and I had to use the coarse little square napkin you get with your beverage to dry my overly emotional eyes.

Despite also being a working mum, I really didn't connect as much with her on "having it all" like I expected. Probably because her work is what she's "called" to do, and mine is what I have to do, at least at the moment. Also, they had no day care and her husband worked part-time in the church office. (My dude works a lot and is less able to play housekeeper while I'm out earning moolah.) That's not to say Pershey skims over the conflict of work + family. Far from it. I don't know. I'm probably just envious she got to think up original ideas (not just fix others' crap), improve others' lives, and so on, all while earning a paycheck. Right?

Anyway.

Annoyingly, Pershey pushes Sears's theory of attachment parenting, which has nil scientific evidence but makes people feel (a) warm and fuzzy and superior or (b) guilty. Although Pershey approaches the theory in a mercifully non-extreme, sensible way, I think she could've avoided the term "attachment parenting" or Sears's name and just explained the family co-slept and she nursed for 2 years, both of which are perfectly lovely, if that's how you roll, without categorizing and labeling her parenting style. I mean, 99% (I totally made up that statistic) of working-outside-the-home moms can't breastfeed on demand (an attachment parenting requirement) if they, like, have to leave the baby to, um, work. And I say this as someone who has nursed a child during more than one conference call at home, and who has had to hit the straight-to-voicemail button on my work phone multiple times due to pumping, because those suckers (pun intended) are LOUD. My point? The attachment parenting term is alienating to a group--young working moms--with whom I assume Pershey is trying to connect.

Which brings me to, of course, breastfeeding. She describes nursing as "the most good and rightful thing I've ever done," which elicited--simultaneously--from me an eye roll and choked up throat, because I'm still mourning the very recent end of my own breastfeeding career, plus my guilt that I freaking WEANED--by choice--at 8 months, not the sanctioned 1 year, and certainly not TWO years. In short, Pershey fails to hide her anti-formula stance, invoking the American Academy of Pediatrics stance on breastfeeding for at least a year TWICE, along with a jab at the hospital that had the audacity to give her formula on her way home. (Good luck finding a hospital willing to do that these days, what with the Breastapo and all. But I digress.)

Small quibbles with my own personal sensitive areas aside (damn you, Dr. Sears and the Breastapo!), I enjoyed Perhsy's book immensely, finding it wise, wry, and compelling. Truly, the way she articulates her love for her daughter, well . . . it's just SPOT ON.

Absolutely worth a read.