Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

Love and Logic Magic for Early ChildhoodBy Jim Fay and Charles Fay (200 pages)
Published by Love & Logic Press
Bookish rating: 3

Booklover, I should have warned you that Bookish has a tendency to review that lowly genre of books, parenting.

I considered that perhaps I should just skip reviewing parenting-related books, but you know what? These books actually affect your life. Your children. So, I deemed them important enough to review.

I blogged awhile ago about Charlotte going through a rather impatient, willful stage. A friend recommended this book, saying that it had helped her with her willful first-born, but she warned of a major cheese factor.

I’m glad she warned me. Cheesy? Yes. This book reeks of the stinkiest of cheeses.

The overall concept of the Love and Logic brand is that you let the child choose the behavior and consequence. For example, if the child throws her food on the ground, dinner is over. This is pretty much in line with the advice of The Happiest Toddler on the Block. The authors insist on a happy, sing-song voice when doling out punishment, which I think most children would find patronizing. Finally, a whole lot of reasoning takes place. I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to reason with a toddler. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Love and Logic shines when discussing misbehavior as teachable moments, rather than something to punish. A child learns a consequence. She learns she’s in control of a lot, even though she’s so short. I also appreciated this book’s “permission” to let Charlotte struggle. I’ve lately backed WAY off from helping her do things, and “I DID IT!” is now one of her top phrases.

Love and Logic also encourages chores, which we’ve started implementing. Charlotte is responsible for cleaning up her toys, putting her coat in the closet, and emptying her lunchbox. I recently added putting her books away, putting mommy’s shoes away (just the ones she takes out to play with), and helping unload the dishwasher.

Love and Logic is against cry-it-out for babies, which sent off some warning bells for me. They cite only speculation of what a child thinks or feels, and all their philosophies on “independence” fly out the parenting window. Sleep research and evidence supports cry-it-out, and it teaches children to fall asleep independently. Love and Logic offer zero research and evidence, but the authors suggest every flaw your child has is a result of your parental failure to perfectly abide by the Love and Logic brand of child-rearing.

Overall, this book gave me a couple extra tools to use with Charlotte—for example, offering choices for as much as possible, giving her control when it doesn’t matter, letting her struggle, adding a few chores—and teaching a child that her behavior has consequences—and that she can control it—is a very important philosophy. But between the cheese factor and the lack of research, this parenting book ranks at the “it’s okay” level.